Who cares how many thumbs are up or down? What if a guy lost a thumb in a freak-lawnmower accident at a young age? What the hell are stars all about anyway? What kind of kickbacks must astronomers around the world receive for having their craft reduced to telling someone how good the lime-flavored sorbet is at the Denny’s across the street? Why have adults–who are capable of dealing with full-time jobs, stacks of bills, families, and much more–allowed their tastes to be lowered to the second grade level of looking at a picture of a star? Restaurants, movies, and hotels are the biggest culprits. I guess it’s too difficult to for us to comprehend someone telling us there are cockroaches in a room and blood stains on the shower curtain instead of waving 1-Star in front of faces. There won’t be any stars, phalanges, or smiley faces from The Movie Mind. Instead, the ‘official’ rating for a movie will be based on what The Movie Mind uses personally:
- Wait for Cable. Sometimes the only way a movie can get some kind of viewers is from plugging their 2 hour piece of garbage onto a basic cable channel that 80 year-olds leave on 24 hours a day regardless of what is on.
- Wait for PPV. May be worth doling out 3 bucks from the comfort of your own couch, but not worthy of any extra effort to watch it.
- Add to Online Rental List. Good enough to rent if you are paying 20 bucks a month for unlimited movies, but in no hurry to run out and get it.
- Rent It. Requires getting your lazy ass up and driving to the store to rent the movie.
- Go To Movie Theater. This is such a high rating because of the nonsense and expense a trip to the theater has become. A movie with this rating better be worth it.
- Buy It. Worthy of adding to your personal collection and watching numerous times. You most likely will want to see it in the movie theater and then buy it when it becomes available on DVD.
25 responses so far ↓
1 The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford // Feb 28, 2008 at 5:51 am
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2 Blood Diamond // Mar 5, 2008 at 7:48 am
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3 The Condemned // Mar 11, 2008 at 5:49 am
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4 American Gangster // Mar 20, 2008 at 1:47 pm
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5 Dan in Real Life // Mar 25, 2008 at 10:51 am
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6 No Country For Old Men // Mar 30, 2008 at 7:11 pm
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7 Gone Baby Gone // Mar 30, 2008 at 7:56 pm
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8 21 // Apr 2, 2008 at 8:03 am
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9 The Kingdom // Apr 16, 2008 at 5:50 am
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10 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead // Apr 21, 2008 at 5:24 am
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11 Forgetting Sarah Marshall // Apr 29, 2008 at 5:48 am
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12 What Happens in Vegas // May 14, 2008 at 5:51 am
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13 Evan Almighty // May 22, 2008 at 6:10 am
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14 Rendition // May 26, 2008 at 10:12 am
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15 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull // May 28, 2008 at 5:51 am
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16 Rambo // Jun 10, 2008 at 6:03 am
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17 Semi-Pro // Jun 30, 2008 at 8:15 am
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18 Jumper // Jul 3, 2008 at 5:52 am
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19 Fool’s Gold // Jul 10, 2008 at 6:03 am
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20 Juno // Jul 14, 2008 at 5:53 am
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21 Hancock // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:56 am
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22 In Bruges // Jul 25, 2008 at 5:30 am
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23 Batman: The Dark Knight // Jul 28, 2008 at 6:08 am
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24 Step Brothers // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:18 am
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25 Vantage Point // Aug 14, 2008 at 6:47 am
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