The Movie Mind

Rick Reilly of ESPN recently wrote an article titled “The Jersey Rules” that, sorry to disappoint, has no mention of Snookie or The Situation, but rather lists a set of rules to live by when it comes to sports fans donning their favorite player’s game jersey. Since I am a fan of Reilly’s writing, I feel like I won’t come across as being a “hater” if I put him in his place on this one and explain why the article was dead wrong.

First of all the article was meant to be funny…not really his strong suit if you ask me. He’s a very talented writer but he’s not exactly Bill Simmons when it comes to the satirical wit category. Nor is he Bill Simmons when it comes to on-screen appearances (thankfully). Nonetheless, his poor attempt at mocking “Joe Fan” who rocks a replica jersey so he can show off his team allegiances illustrates to me just how far removed he is from actually being “Joe Fan”. You’d think a guy who started off as a football beat writer only to have one of the most successful sports columns in the most notable sports magazine on the planet (Sports Illustrated), not to mention a show named Homecoming, would remember to stick to his roots a little more. Apparently having a co-writer credit of the smash-hit Leatherheads wasn’t enough to knock him down a peg (or two, or three…dozen). Seriously I think he could have written a better movie if it was just Ben Stein sitting on camera reading Reilly’s 25 years worth of columns. But instead he gets an even cushier gig writing a new column for ESPN, for all of 2 seconds, before parlaying that into the pinnacle of sports-writing…not actually being a writer anymore and turning into yet another talking head/annoyance for ESPN.

The point is that he is the last person that should ever create rules for when it is or isn’t ok to sport a jersey. Someone hobnobbing with Jim from The Office and starring in beer commercials with super models shouldn’t be the guy to set the barometer for what’s appropriate fan behavior. Instead, let a true fan who doesn’t sit in private boxes or blabber away on ESPN (yet) be the guy who makes this distinction. It’s time for The Movie Mind’s Rules for Wearing  a Jersey.

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Movie Mind Says: Add to Bottom of Netflix (aka Qwikster) List

If You Like This You Should Watch: 21, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Better Than: Mr. 3000
Worse Than: The Blind Side, Charlie Wilson’s War

Starring: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman

Life is all about expectations. In most cases, so is movie-going. The Movie Minds’ expectations were set extremely low for Moneyball, which is sold as a true baseball fan’s dream yet a gripping overall story of triumph for those who’ve never watched a game. Frankly, I didn’t buy how a book written about the first GM to widely utilize the sabermetrics concept of statistical analysis in baseball, only to have his team fall short of ever really winning anything, could actually turn into a good movie. After serving up a big promise, it struck out. The one redeeming quality is that there are a few decent laughs which I found were a completely integral part of being able to get through this film.

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With the emergence of streaming video and live TV, The Movie Mind’s Rating System has started to resemble an outdated business model, much like the now defunct Blockbuster. No longer do we run out to the local video store and scan the walls lined with new DVD releases like the movie-fans’ own Dewey Decimal system. There is very little “window shopping” as most movie decisions are made from a Google search or streaming advertisement on your phone. Yes the times they are a-changin’ and it’s time The Movie Mind jumped aboard.

The ratings may be new but the premise hasn’t changed. True movie ratings are not about giving “two thumbs up” like we’re deciding on whether a Gladiator lives or gets fed to the lions. It’s not about stars, or tomatoes, or any other type of condiment or galactic object. The Movie Mind tells it like it is and the ratings reflect that. You know when you should watch the film, how you should watch it, what other films it’s better and worse than, and maybe you’ll even find out why I felt that way.

The Movie Mind’s reviews and commentary are meant to entertain the real movie fans and provide some information that you can actually use. Any life advice or philosophical perspectives you take from it means you need some friends and should probably be reading more (and I don’t mean the back of the cereal box). I’m not interested in inundating you with obscure literary references and details or cinematographic elements you could have learned by opening IMDB or taking a 30-minute online film class. I am a fan of movies and my reviews are written and rated from that perspective.

The NEW “Official” ratings for The Movie Mind are as follows:

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