SwingersThe Movie Mind is please to present a new feature and recurring column for your enjoyment. As we all age, some more gracefully than others, it’s natural to wonder about some of those we have lost touch with over the years. With the worldwide popularity of eternal-time-waster Facebook, it’s become easier to find out what they’re up to. But what if some of those names from our past weren’t on Facebook because they lived in some sort  of alternate reality…aka Movie-Land? The Movie Mind answers those questions in a new series where I will track down some of our favorite movie characters of all-time and answer that burning question, “Where Are They Now”?

I’ll look at a different film for each segment and profile the characters’ current whereabouts and exploits. Post your requests for other films and characters to report on, and feel free to chime in if you have a different take on their life’s travels!

This first segment will look back at the gang from an all-time classic, Swingers.

Mike (Jon Favreau): Over the last 15 years, Mike has toured the country while honing his standup routine at small comedy clubs and bars. About a year ago he caught his big break and found his way onto the last installment of Last Comic Standing, but unfortunately he bombed before the live audience and his “booking agent” dumped him right after he was booed off the stage. He hasn’t had much luck in love either, as Lorraine and him dated for 6 years but he was a jilted lover yet again after he found her in bed with a casting agent for Cinemax. On the bright side, he can afford the luxury of not needing a steady payday since he’s known as one of Vegas’ premier blackjack players and made close to $4 million at the game in his lifetime. His advice to me when I caught up with him at the Wynn, “At this table we double down on a hard 7 or better. If you don’t like that there’s a lower stakes table over there you might be more comfortable at.”

Swingers - guy behind the guyTrent (Vince Vaughn): It’s a good thing for Trent that the reality TV-craze took hold when it did. After fizzing out in a variety of careers such as realtor, nightclub promoter, and investment banker, he stumbled upon the auditions for The Real World: Reno and was cast immediately as a last minute replacement. After getting kicked off the show 2 episodes in, offers were thrown his way from a variety of programs and he had one of the most memorable reality TV appearances on The Bachelor after walking into the house and yelling, “Which of you pretty babies wants to party?” The producers cancelled the season early after cameras caught him on four separate group dates making out with girls who were not members of the cast. He makes regular appearances on VH1’s I Love the 90’s shows and spends a lot of time in Vegas and LA with Mike.

Rob (Ron Livingston): After being stuck in his role as Goofy for 5 years and never landing a real onscreen role, Rob quit the acting industry altogether and went to work at Disneyland full-time as a theme-park set designer. He has 4 daughters and according to him an “evil, maniacal wife”. He hasn’t seen Mike or Trent since his wedding, when Trent hooked up with his wife’s sister and has since been banned from their home. He told me on the phone that he’d stick himself in that 60 lb. fur costume in 95 degree heat for a year if it meant he’d get one last shot at the fame.

Swingers - nintendoSue (Patrick Van Horn): Sue has spent the last 11 years in Anaheim County Jail for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after shooting someone that did, in fact, try to steal his f-ing K-Car. He was a backup vocalist in a House of Pain cover band prior to being incarcerated and hopes to reunite with the group upon his release in 2021 with good behavior (which is kind of difficult in prison when you’re a “Boy Named Sue” and call everyone “bitch”).

Charles (Alex Désert): I wasn’t able to get too much info on Charles because he kept cutting off my questions by saying, “I got a call back tomorrow”. After telling him the interview was done, he told me, “Good…this article sounds dead anyway.”

Lorraine (Heather Graham): After screwing Mikey over, she went on to B-list fame as a late-night Skinemax regular. Wait, I can’t remember if I was talking to Lorraine or Heather Graham. No matter, same story either way.

Nikki (Brooke Langton): She went through a short period of YouTube fame after posting Mike’s rambling voice messages and receiving over 6 million hits. She has since written a book called, “The Wrong Way to Pick-up a Girl.” Presales have reported to be weak.

3 Comments

  1. I would have thought that Trent would have gone in to the diner business specializing in after hours drunk and obnoxious food…or, after finally landing a few after school movie roles as big brother, found his niche and graduated to after school movie “father” in to his forties.

  2. I think sue could have gone in to a specialized field of psychology dealing with children tramatized by video game violence, like making little wayne’s (gretzky) head bleed.

  3. At least the movie mind is good at something since he can’t pickhis nose in Fantasy Football. The Box kicked his back side as usual.

    Stick to movies mr. movie mind

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