Hi, I'm Troy McClure…you may have seen me in such films as, “Gladys The Groovy Mule“, and “Eenie Meeni Miney, Die“.

I have a hard time thinking of any better character that served as a mockery to Hollywood and its wanna-be/has-been actors of our time, than this man. Troy McClure was simply a thing of genious. Unfortunately he was retired shortly after Phil Hartman’s death, but The Movie Mind wanted to serve a tribute to the guy who gave us all so many faux-gems that Hollywood couldn’t possibly stoop that low in real life…could they? Let’s find out how knowledgeable you are in the filmography of Troy McClure, and at the same time how truly sad the state of filmmaking really is.

Below are a number of films, some of which are real, and others fictional titles from Troy McClure’s dubious acting career. See which ones you can match correctly, or if Hollywood got the best of you. If you didn’t fare so well try not to get discouraged, maybe Troy McClure’s self-help video, “Get Confident, Stupid!” can get you feeling good again!

[The real answers will be posted tomorrow. Post your guesses in the comments section.]

- Midnight Meat Train  (Real Movie, 2008, No – it’s not a flick you’d find in the back of the ‘fetish’ section of the tinted-windows movie joint…it is in fact a Clive Barker short-story with Vinne Jones and Brooke Shields.)

- The Revenge of Abe Lincoln  (Troy McClure Movie)

- Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die  (Troy McClure Movie)

- Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter  (Real Movie, 2001, Actual Quote: “Jesus: If I’m not back in five minutes, call the Pope.”)

- Dial M For Murderousness  (Troy McClure Movie)

- Mother May I Sleep With Danger?  (Real TV Movie, 1996, Starring none other than 90210′s Tori Spelling.)

- The Neverending Story 2  (Real Movie, 1990, Not sure why they needed a second one if the first one was never supposed to end.)

- Ghost in the Invisible Bikini  (Real Movie, 1966, Nancy Sinatra surely made her dad proud with a part in this film about a ghost we can’t see wearing clothes you can’t see.)

- The Erotic Adventures of Hercules  (Troy McClure Movie)

- Look Who’s Still Oinking  (Troy McClure Movie)

- Attack of the Crab Monsters  (Real Movie, 1957, Actual Quote: Martha: But Doctor, that theory doesn’t explain why Jules’ and Carson’s minds have turned against us. Dale: Preservation of the species. Once they were men. Now they are land crabs.”)

- Attack of the Bride Monster  (Real Movie, 2005, Addresses the age-old question of, “A ‘Bride Monster’ is loose in the gay community; can Betty and Stella’s 25-year relationship survive?”)

- Three Men and a Nuke  (Troy McClure Movie)

- Buck Henderson, Union Buster  (Troy McClure TV Series)

- Guys and Balls  (Real Movie, 2004, Actual Comment on imdb.com: Good looking guys, leather and chains, love, revenge, and… soccer!)

- Phffft  (Real Movie, 1954, Jack Lemmon stars in this film you had better sneak into instead of asking for a ticket with your rear-end.)

- Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly  (Troy McClure Educational Film)

- 60 Minutes of Car Crash Victims  (Troy McClure Educational Film)

- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  (Real Movie, 1968, Dick Van Dyke musical.)

- Surf Nazis Must Die  (Real Movie, 1987, Tagline: The Beaches Have Become Battlefields… The Waves Are A War Zone!)

- Alice’s Adventures through the Windshield Glass  (Troy McClure Educational Film)

- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians  (Real Movie, 1964, This film is listed among “The 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made” in THE OFFICIAL RAZZIE® MOVIE GUIDE)

- The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot  (Troy McClure Educational Film)

One Comment

  1. Such an awesome list … have you been cataloging it during your free time?

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