The Movie Mind

Some muses and ramblings from The Movie Mind on the 80th Annual Academy Awards:

- I would have paid to see Norbit win an Oscar for something.

- Do any filmmakers, actors, directors or anyone in the movie business speak English anymore?

- Wake me up when they are done giving out the Oscars for the Foreign Short-Film Makeup Artist to a Supporting Actress in a Documentary Animated Film.

- Why was John Stewart not funny?

- And did he have to make it a point to kiss the ass of every single person at the Oscars?

- Were the writers still on strike? It sure felt like it.

- Did anyone get to see Gary Busey harassing Jennifer Garner on the red carpet. How all of Hollywood doesn’t have a 200-foot restraining order on that guy is beyond me.

- If the Coen brothers can’t manage to crack a smile for one of their TWO Oscars I will manage to crack them in the face if I ever see them.

- The 80th Annual Academy Awards could’ve been titled The Best of The Oscars Back When They Were Good after all the old montages from prior ceremonies.

- Could there have ever been an Oscars with any less surprises?

- It’s a good thing Jack Nicholson is still around and kicking…the man defines Hollywood.

- Was that really an Owen Wilson sighting…could he have looked like he wanted to be there any less?

- Tilda Swinton scares me. For real.

-  Did a stripper just win an Oscar?

- Swallow this…Martin Scorsese’s trophy case has as many Oscars for directing as Warren Beatty’s.

- I think Enchanted was responsible for every musical set for the Oscars and didn’t even win anything for it.

- My complete opinion of these Oscars would have changed if Colin Farrell bit it when he walked out to the podium to present.

- Who did “The Rock” have to bribe to be a presenter? And has he eaten anything at all since he left the WWE?

- If the Oscars are the Super Bowl of the movie business, then this was Super Bowl XXVII when the Cowboys trounced the Bills 52-17.